Hey Martha, Dogma, & UD, thanks for the BDay wishes.
I haven't really 'felt' my BDay before - at least since my 21st. This year I am - likely related to the D. I met with my insurance guy to add some term life insurance and enhance my retirement plan. Both would have been things I arranged squarely with W and S5 in mind, now just with S5. Definitely a bittersweet tone here. Going to work out hard this afternoon to note my improved health. At MD's on Monday, physician noted very healthy BP and resting HR. Nice to see other evidence of my self-care. W noted that her BP has increased notably according to her MD, which is troubling as she is not heavy. Maybe stress?
Gonna celebrate BDay with a nice dinner out with S5 tonight.
There have been some positives lately: My folks sent a very unexpected and generous check to cover my and S5's travel plans. Very kind and highly unusual as I'm the over-achiever/care-provider child and usually the others are the ones attended to. This was a nice different thing to experience.
W called during my class, then followed up asking me to come over the house afterward to talk to S5 about some acting out at his summercamp yesterday. Did so, and arranged a consequence for him (no swimming today, some tears/drama, but he understood). Rewarded him for telling W about his behavior - need to keep truthfulness and communication going.
While at the house, W was friendly and noted how when she talked about me while telling a funny story (nothing derogatory/mean, according to her) at a gathering of coworkers over lunch on Tue (I was teaching), others seemed to get uncomfortable. She said, "I mean, I hope I can mention you to others. We have a good R now. (hmmm? ). It'd be a shame if we can't mention each other." She had been refering to S5's birth and his likeness to me, bringing this up when others were talking about additional children.
When she commented that my work buddy would hardly look at her, I did a 180 - rather than reassuring her, I just said, "Well, that's between you and (buddy) to work out or not."
W seemed to be free with comments, saying "You don't want to put that much into this house" regarding my plan to change the flooring. Why does she care? She goes completely quiet whenever I mention my goal of finding my dreamhouse - a fixer-upper in a a particular riverfront area of town. This was 'our' goal in the past. Could she be still eyeing that as a possibility? Likely reading too much into this.
At one point, S5 called W's cell phone using my cell phone an W had the same ringtone - the Mexican hat dance. When I noted that she had the same one as me, she stammered and said "I don't have alot of choices on that phone." Now why would a German/English/Irish/Jewish Iowan girl have that tone on her phone when her XH is Mexican? I imagined she may have a select tone for my number alone, but as she can't figure out how to set up her voicemail after 7 months, I doubt she's figured that out.
I think I'm overanalyzing stuff.
W and S5 bought two huge supersoaker-type squirt cannons and W gave me a AAA travelguide for NM/Arizona for my and S5's trip that she had ordered. She had also helped S5 write out a BDay greeting on a card for me. He's getting very good at printing out basic words.
As I left the house last night, I thanked W for everything, and she just beamed. I think we've reached the tentative beginnings of a 'friendship' in her eyes.
). It'd be a shame if we can't mention each other." She had been refering to S5's birth and his likeness to me, bringing this up when others were talking about additional children. 
