Brief review: Me: 38 W: 34 5yr Son Separated since 10/28/04. Signed D Papers 3/24/05 D finalized 5/2/05.
I've seen notable improvements in R, babysteps in my sitch, yet D was unavoidable w/ W set on this being her 'answer' to make things right or to prove herself right.
Positives include: W still interested/curious, with unsolicited daily contact and increased friendliness. Also, no OP for either of us, W in therapy and exercising, emphasizing work slightly less, W continues to inform me somewhat about her free time perhaps to confirm no OP. Best of all, we are co-parenting well- both keeping S5 as our very high priority. I bought W out of house, paid off all shared debt (she actually thanked me for this in May!). W has responed to my boundary setting with more respect for me. W keeps reaching out to me when a crisis occurs. W extended her renter status, staying in the house until October. W has started to be more attentive to her spiritual life again.
Negatives: W hasn't yet experienced the fullness of D. This is starting with some financial concerns and complaints of fatigue. W noted that her MD noted her decreased health, such as higher BP for first time in her life (used to be exceptionally healthy). Some MLC-like behavior, yet not truly acting out.
This thread will follow my attempts to improve my R with W, my GAL work, with my realization that friendship with W is primary goal. I'm attempting to stay unconditionally loving in a detached manner, focusing on S5 and myself, while I hope that, with God's grace and my and W's hard self-work, that she and I heal enough for us to have a second chance at some point.
