I read your thread about how passive/aggressive and avoidant your husband is. After reading it I'm scratching my head at how willing you seem to be to carry on his need to play the victim by saying that he is weak to aggressive women.
Aren't you doing him and yourself a diservice by taking on this attitude? You blame these other woman for his inability to keep his pants on. It's as if you don't feel he has any responsibility in his actions with these women.
The world is full of aggressive women. The world is also full of men who are able to say NO to these aggressive women. You say your man can't help himself. Why do you believe that? Is it easier to deal with the pain of his infidelities if you tell yourself such a thing?
I was married and have been divorced from a passive/aggressive man for years and years. It's a crazy making relationship and the one thing these men do the best is play the victim and try and manipulate others into thinking they are the victim. Sounds to me like your husband has you right where he wants you...blaming EVERYONE but him for his own actions.
If you have read Living With The Passive Aggressive Man then you need to do some more reading about what he says about holding the accountable for their actions and what steps you need to take as far as not beoming the victim of a passive/aggressive person.
You are married to a man who has been married twice before. You say he did basically the same things to his prvious wives, even had a child with a lover during one of these marriages. Do you really think that just because he has been diagnosed as passive/aggressive and avoidant that he is off the hook and someone to try and form a lasting relationship with?
Do some deep, hard thinking about the mess you have gotten yourself into with this man. Stop analyzing his feelings and actions and spend some time analyzing your own. Ask yourself why you are so willing to lay the blame for his actions at the feet of these aggressive women and why you aren't demanding that he take responsibility for the relationships he has with them.
Bottom line, your husband is an adult man who should be expected to police his own behaviors no matter what personality disorder he has been diagnosed with. You are an adult woman who needs to understand this concept and to stop playing into his passive/aggressive need to be the victim because, until you do, you will live with an unfaithful passive/aggressive/avoidant man. Cathy
