Hi, I have posted a lot in the "need support for marital problems" thread about my husband's passivity and inability to initiate things. Well, he does not initiate stuff with other women, but he has a history a mile long of being weak around aggressive women who initiate things with him. Therefore, I cannot trust him as far as I can throw him. He's 60, still charismatic, and not about to change.
It starts out as a friendship, and the woman is always so defensive that "it's ok to have a friendship with a man." Well, what they don't understand is that my man can't help himself! He starts confiding in them about things, our marriage, etc., and before you know it he has a crush on them. If they respond in kind, then it's trouble.
Something in his past has made him this weak and susceptible. Yes, I'm insecure and I'm scared. For various reasons. Good reasons. And when that comes out, the woman he's such good "friends" with says to me, "Why do you stay in a marriage with someone you can't trust?" and I say, my reasons are really none of your business. These aggressive women seem to get even more titillated then!
Am I handling this all wrong by getting pro-active before they end up in bed? My husband had a child out of wedlock during his first marriage. He does not initiate these things, he goes along with them. I know there are going be women out there who get outraged with me about this, but I feel as though I need to protect myself from any further pain. When he gets one of these women confidants, he throws it up in my face. Since I know his past, I take action. I can see pro's and con's in my behavior. I'm not so much jealous as I am scared! , and I tell the women that. I do not want to lose this marriage!
