Quote: If I used the C word, my tongue would melt off... cursed by the millions who hate the word (my w included)
It's interesting how everyone has their limits. This is one thing I have insisted on from day one, and something I have not budged on and will not: there has to be a certain "level of civility" in our conversations. This is absolutely a deal-breaker with me. Early in our R, he called me a "sh!t" for something, and that was when I drew a line in the sand. We might use the f-word in a heated argument as a modifier for something else, as in "that effing idiot," but we never call each other names. I know in some R's this is done routinely and everyone is okay with it and it means nothing, but if he ever even once called me the c-word, that would be the end. It would not be a surprise to him, as we have both agreed that such name-calling is not acceptable. Once those words are out, they're there in the ether forever. You can't suck them back into your mouth.
One of my earliest memories (from before the age of two) is my parents saying the most hateful things to each other-- things I cannot remove from my mind but that are so ugly I have never repeated them to another person, not even a therapist. You can get PLENTY mad at someone without resorting to language that is intended to damage. It's like those bombs that explode and are filled with nails and pieces of broken glass that have been dipped in excrement... they are INTENDED to poison and destroy.
