JJ... My guess is that the two of you will have sex at some point this weekend; it's just that your H needs some sort of tension and drama to get things going. Just view it as some sort of weird foreplay for him...good for you for not letting it get to you.
Quote: ...good for you for not letting it get to you.
I didn't say it wasn't "getting to me". I just said it wasn't making me angry. I am truly weary of this situation. Though I guess in a way it isn't "getting to me" because at this point I am finally about 100% certain that there is nothing more I can do to improve the situation by improving myself. Either my H is going to step up to the plate and try to keep me satisfied in this relationship and stop throwing temper tantrums of resentment or this relationship is going to be over in short order. How many chances to meet me halfway have I given him since I joined this BB? He's not going to get any "drama" out of me but if he doesn't initiate sex this weekend, I swear I'll be filling out papers this week.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: I just said it wasn't making me angry. I am truly weary of this situation. Though I guess in a way it isn't "getting to me"
Good for holding on.
Quote: because at this point I am finally about 100% certain that there is nothing more I can do to improve the situation by improving myself.
You could be almost perfect and maybe your H would still not be interested in sex. Then again he might see his way through to satisfy you some.
Quote: if he doesn't initiate sex this weekend, I swear I'll be filling out papers this week.
Sorry you are hurting and feel this way. If a guy posted this, he would be swarmed with comments like "selfish" "pig" and and a host of male bashing comments.
I know you have been trying many things to get your H to ML to you and you might feel the payback to you is poor. Sorry, but that is the way it works sometimes. Your H being "Mr Picky" seems to be the bigger problem more than the lack of sex, the way I see it. Maybe it's time to pack sandwiches with stale bread and give those speciality bread sandwiches to the customers at your book sales or buying trips.
I quit serving meals in the livingroom. I think it worked for me. What about you? Sometimes a person has to withdraw favors to be noticed.
I have a similar situation here. It's mostly my responsibility to define the problems, its my responsibility to come up with solutions, and BB wants to be the one to say yes or no to the solutions. Maybe her wheels are turning, but I don't see much evidence they are.
I am not complaining, just point out to you what I see happening here and am rightly or wrongly applying them to your situation. I suppose many other people "feel" the same way. Feelings are not always reality.
I hope you will feel better soon. In a couple of days I hope you see things in a more positive light. Till then best wishes.
I have to tell you about my weekend. On both Friday and Saturday night, family and I went to a Blues Festival which is held in our town. Both nights I saw women who were "reasonably attractive" (as you described yourself) and about your age. And, since I've seen your picture, they reminded me of you. So, I kept on seeing these "Jennys" walking around, or sitting with their inattentive husbands. And I saw some "Hanks", too.
And I wondered how many of the Jennys were going to go home and MB on the bathroom floor, and how many of the Hanks were going to go home an MB in the bathroom, or in bed next to their snoring wives.
Life sure deals us some crappy cards sometimes. Or, we think we got decent cards and then find out that we're not playing "Hearts", we're playing "Spades" and have a crappy hand, and a partner who doesn't really want to be there.
Well folks, it was another "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf"-like weekend at JJ's place.
Review of the Action:
Mr.Wilson starts out weekend with sneaky "the best defense is a good offense" move by throwing a temper tantrum about my work schedule. Blindsided into stupidity, I end up momentarily feeling guilty and get suckered into agreeing to a no sex weekend.
Friday afternoon feeling both depressed and horny, I sneak off to the bedroom for a little private "nap" time with my new book of erotica. Mr.W interrupts my plan by choosing to take a nap himself, of course he was interested in a real nap, so I was forced to pleasure myself on the bathroom floor (FYI, HD, there is a fluffy carpet.).
By Saturday afternoon, my weariness had transformed into anger and there was a huge white elephant of passive aggression involved in all our interactions. Finally, I blew and told my H I was angry about his temper tantrum the previous morning and I regretted agreeing to no sex just because I had to do some work over the weekend and I thought it was just another lame excuse. The fight that followed was totally "agro". The highlight was probably the part where my H broke off a piece of the kitchen counter and started wailing away at the sink , while yelling "You c*nt! You absolute c*nt!". I actually managed to hold on to myself pretty well during this altercation and when we had both calmed down and were actually kind of laughing at ourselves afterwards, my H said "The thing that impressed me was it (his tantrum) didn't make a bit of difference to you.". That's right folks. I'm a c*nt and I don't care. By this I mean I've finally reached the point where I am guilt-free about the fact that, yes, I am willing to leave my H simply because he doesn't make enough effort to satisfy me sexually. So, if a c*nt is a woman who will leave a man for that reason then that's what I am. Though, perhaps, slut would be more apropo.
As the weekend continued, I was not able to maintain my strong stand so well because my H went from "agro" to "pathetic" and really I'm a bit of a soft-touch . Saturday night I went to bed first. My H came in a bit later and said in an accusatory manner "I suppose you want some action.". Since I was more sleepy than horny at the moment, I replied in a friendly manner "Generally yes but not particularly at the moment. Why are you in the mood?". He replied "No, I'm not.". Then I said "Well, would you like to just cuddle a bit?". He said "No." and I lost it a bit and said "I can't get sex. I can't get physical affection. What the h*ll do I get out of this relationship?". He got very pathetic at this point and said "Well, I bring you my paycheck each week. I guess that's all I have to offer. Just think of it as rent.". He said this in such a manner as if to convey "I know I am a lousy husband so just consider me a boarder but please don't kick me out.". I felt so sorry for him I started crying and patting him on the head and when I went to the bathroom to wipe my eyes he got out some porn and we ended up having sex.
Well, anyways, the end result of this weekend was that my H wants me to make him an appointment to see an endocrinologist to get his testosterone levels checked. He said he wants to do this so he can have more of a "level playing field". I'm not sure if he meant if he meant he needed a more level playing field in order to deal with me or in order to compete with Hank and his ilk, but I guess at least it's a sign that maybe he's finally at the end of the line with blaming me for his LD. Though, I am a bit worried that if his levels come back normal his attitude will be one of "I did all that I can do. What more do you expect from me?" passivity.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: and when I went to the bathroom to wipe my eyes he got out some porn and we ended up having sex.
Wow. Mr. Romantic strikes again.
Quote: and when I went to the bathroom to wipe my eyes he got out some porn and we ended up having sex.
What's the matter, are his hands too busy with the VCR remote that he can't dial a phone? Sorry, but this is enabling behavior on your part. Him asking you to take care of making the appointment tells me a lot about his level of commitment to working on this part of the relationship. What else are you going to do, mommy?
Sorry to be harsh. Actually, no I'm not. I'm pissed at our respective spouses today.
Actually the porn didn't "work" for him, so I had to take matters "in hand". This is the kind of thing that makes me think that maybe he really does have low testosterone. It's not ED because he got hard pretty much instantly once I handled him and had no problem staying hard afterwards. I actually asked him what was going on as I was handling him and he indicated that it felt good but it was as if it wasn't really attached to the rest of his body or his mind. Though, as usual, once he was a bit more into the action, I could tell he was fully involved. This is the thing that continues to make me most crazy about my situation- we really do have quite hot, raunchy, passionate, connected sex a great deal of the time once my H gets both of his heads together so I simply do not and can not understand why he doesn't want to "rinse and repeat" as soon as possible. I saw the movie "51 First Dates" this weekend, in which the couple keep meeting over and over because the woman has short-term memory loss. I wonder if it's possible to have short-term sexual memory loss and that is what my H's problem is? That would mean that my dilemma is how in the f*ck do I remind him that he actually does enjoy it.
Quote: What's the matter, are his hands too busy with the VCR remote that he can't dial a phone? Sorry, but this is enabling behavior on your part. Him asking you to take care of making the appointment tells me a lot about his level of commitment to working on this part of the relationship. What else are you going to do, mommy?
I had similar thoughts. That is why I am worried that he will consider normal test results to be a good "cop-out". But, the fact that I have already considered this gives me time to prepare for this eventuality and OTOH maybe he does have low testosterone and he'll get a prescription and I'll be able to join HDSoCal's tales of chemical success thread.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Your H being "Mr Picky" seems to be the bigger problem more than the lack of sex, the way I see it. Maybe it's time to pack sandwiches with stale bread and give those speciality bread sandwiches to the customers at your book sales or buying trips. 
In a couple of days I hope you see things in a more positive light. Till then best wishes.
. Saturday night I went to bed first. My H came in a bit later and said in an accusatory manner "I suppose you want some action.". Since I was more sleepy than horny at the moment, I replied in a friendly manner "Generally yes but not particularly at the moment. Why are you in the mood?". He replied "No, I'm not.". Then I said "Well, would you like to just cuddle a bit?". He said "No." and I lost it a bit and said "I can't get sex. I can't get physical affection. What the h*ll do I get out of this relationship?". He got very pathetic at this point and said "Well, I bring you my paycheck each week. I guess that's all I have to offer. Just think of it as rent.". He said this in such a manner as if to convey "I know I am a lousy husband so just consider me a boarder but please don't kick me out.". I felt so sorry for him I started crying and patting him on the head and when I went to the bathroom to wipe my eyes he got out some porn and we ended up having sex.