With my kids home for the summer I haven't had much time/privacy to post. I'm doing quite well. My current attitude is along the lines of "My H is an idiot if he doesn't think being married to me is worth getting his sexual act together on a regular basis." but I am able to feel quite affectionate twards him while having this thought. From my current POV, any future LD behavior on his part would be the equivalent of leaving the tub filling with water while you go on vacation. Unfortunate consequences will result that anyone with a bit of foresight willing to take a bit of care could have avoided, especially since there has been a flashing neon sign over the tub for the last year that reads "This tub fills fast! Do not forget to empty it on a regular basis!". I've decided to take down the sign. Not because I'm dead certain that the message has been received and will be consistently attended to, but because I'm pretty d*mn confident that I've done all that I can do to broadcast the message and answer any complaints and inquiries resulting.
The subject of geriatric sex came up on somebody's thread. I've been doing some reading that touched on this subject. In the current bestselling health title "You: The Owner's Manual" I read the following:
Quote: What we know is that the more (for men) and the higher quality (for women) orgasms you have a year, the younger you are. If you are fifty-five years old, increasing the number of times you have sex from 58 times per year to 116 times has an effect of making you as much as 1.6 years younger, and having great quality sex even more than that can have an effect up to 8 years.......Bonus: The data also implies that if a fifty-five year old has sex seven hundred times a year, it would make you sixteen years younger (unfortunately, the data sample on people who fit this criteria was approximately,uh, zero)"
On another note, I'm reading a novel by John Updike. The main character is a 70 year old man who is married to a 65 year old woman. The following quoted passage concerns the couple resuming their sex life following a month hiatus because the W broke her leg in two places.
Quote: At Mass. General she had been prescribed not a plaster cast but, in the latest therapeutic fashion, a plastic boot-space-tech in feeling, overlapping blue and gray with a ridged sole curved like a chair rocker. It could be removed briefly but had to stay on during something as strenuous as f*cking. He tried to hover above her, on his elbows and knees, sparing her as much of his weight as he could, and to his grateful amazement felt her rise to him, in her excitement, quicker than usual; she ground her pubic bone against his decisively and they came together- gemlike dragonflies coupling in air. Breathless afterwards, Julia stared up at him from the pillow with that cloudy face of satisfied desire which puts a man, briefly, right with the universe, all debts honored, all worries unmasked as negligible."
As I've admitted before on this BB, I received much of my too?-early sex education by reading Updike and similar authors. Encountering a passage like the above makes me think that perhaps it wasn't such a bad education.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: At Mass. General she had been prescribed not a plaster cast but, in the latest therapeutic fashion, a plastic boot-space-tech in feeling, overlapping blue and gray with a ridged sole curved like a chair rocker. It could be removed briefly but had to stay on during something as strenuous as f*cking.
I know what those are! My wife has one, and she'll have to wear it (or maybe a cast, we don't know for sure yet) for 6-12 weeks after her foot surgery. They refer to it as a "moon boot," probably because it resembles the boots of the spacesuits worn by the moon astronauts. She actually got one when she first broke her foot, but it kind of fell apart after awhile; the Velcro patches came unstuck. She now has a better one.
Any idea which Updike novel that was? Maybe I can use that passage to convince her that certain things might be possible even before she's fully healed. And did Updike write any sex scenes in which the guy was wearing a leg brace?
- "A"
"Everything that happens, happens. Everything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Everything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again."
JJ: I love Updike. There is a passage from "A widow for one year" that occurs during a wedding ceremony toward the end of the book that I almost read aloud at my wedding to W. Something about me being poor and having only wishes and dreams to give to her.
Quote: There is a passage from "A widow for one year" that occurs during a wedding ceremony toward the end of the book that I almost read aloud at my wedding to W. Something about me being poor and having only wishes and dreams to give to her.
You're thinking of Irving, not Updike. Though I have loved him since my early teens too. How are you doing? You've seemed decidedly down in your last several posts.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: There is a passage from "A widow for one year" that occurs during a wedding ceremony toward the end of the book that I almost read aloud at my wedding to W. Something about me being poor and having only wishes and dreams to give to her.
Hairdog: I've tried to find that passage using google, but no luck. Any chance you have it available to post? Yeah, I know, I can just go buy the book.... but I'm trying the easy way first...
Paul - I'd have to look in the book...it is very close to the end of the book.
Yes, JJ, I've been somewhat "down" lately. I may start my own post soon, but I've been pretty busy lately and haven't gotten around to it. Basically, we're still in counseling, nothing has improved, I've lost my libido, and my W and the MC have diagnosed me with adult ADD. I see my doctor tomorrow.
My brother was diagnosed with it. I always joked that it was AADD, or Adrian Attention Deficit Disorder, that he wasn't giving enough attention to his (now ex-) wife. Maybe there was something to it.
How are you doing? You've seemed decidedly down in your last several posts. 