My creed is to never let anyone tie my hands (except for my friendly neighborhood Dominatrix (j/k!)).
Honesty b/t the 2 of you, fostered by you, is a necessary building block to friendship. I wouldn't go into worries/concerns - leave that for him to think about. Try to keep yourself in a positive place in his life, and don't let yourself get sucked into his family's chaos/drama too much. You have your kids to think about, and your GAL to maintain. But the welfare of SS14 is too important to let him get set up by his X.
(j/k!)).
