Don't know if my PMA is high or low. I'm just plumb tuckered out! It must be all this thinking! j/k - I'm sure it's from traveling over 1000 miles in one weekend! Besides my trips down to Chicago, we went to a fourth of July picnic yesterday and although the k's had a ball, we were still on the road a lot.

Talked to my mom & dad today, they've been trying to call me also to see that we got home ok. My ex apparently just left their place this morning! He was over to drop off something for dad, I guess and was complaining that he couldn't get hold of me the day before. They told him neither could they. HMMM!!!

Ok, I have to confess something here. I am homesick terribly this weekend. Seeing my parents for only a short time and having such a long drive to do that has got to me. I used to visit them every other weekend pre-D, and sometimes much more in the summer (they do own a pool!)

So here's my dilemma! As you all know, I made up my mind to jumpstart my career and let it lead me to a new location if necessary. But w/all the conflict w/ex, I have not applied to any jobs in my home state. I am seriously thinking about doing that now, and it wouldn't have to be in the same city. I am beginning to think that I have so many fears of being rejected by him, and I haven't even went back there at all since the D(5months), not even for a visit to family.

I have prepared myself to having to work out all of s8's arrangements when I go back to work. (school, daycare, and therapies) Now I keep asking myself - if I'm willing to do that in Minneapolis or Knoxville, why not in Michigan?

And since ex limits our contact, he really can't 'see' any of my good GAL efforts especially since he doesn't want to hear me talk about my accomplishments. The only Galling I can do is to be absent when he calls and that is frustrating me to no end!

Ok, everyone just whack me one and tell me this is just a temporary homesickness and I will get over it soon. I just don't know yet how to proceed this week.
T