I agree with all that Wes has said. And I also agree with the new approach that you are mulling over. You H has problems, typical of MLC. Trying to get him to respond to guilt will not work because he is overwhelmed by it and just does not know what to do. He is lost right now. You can keep him informed of your progress on job and such during casual references in the convo but he is in such a hugely selfish mode that you will do best to validate and support him. I read somewhere that when your spouse hits MLC it is like you are both thrown in swirling waters in a rapidly flowing river. You want your MLCer to hold your hand and both of you can then swim to safety. But your MLCer is so possessed with fear that he/she only thinks of her/himself. So your only recourse is to try to find a branch or something to hang on to for yourself, get secure and then shout out words of engouragement to them or even throw them a rope!
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
