Doing a lot of thinking about what I'm doing lately! Is that good or bad?
I've realized that maybe I am not validating ex properly. I do validate, but not in the ways he may want to hear or that is necessary to be a 180.
I am putting the convo about my career into the 'things that don't work' category. Let him wonder about it, and let him ask, but I don't need to brag and gloat over it to him. Too hard on his ego.
I need to work on being more attentive during his convos on the phone. He's calling for a reason, and I feel that part of it is to assuage his guilt over the div and separation from s8. Somehow I need to not carry that burden for him.
What I am trying to say is that most everytime he calls, he just wants me to reassure him that s8 is ok, which I do, and then he seems comfortable to not visit him. I have to change my tactics here and not sure how to proceed yet.
What I am thinking of is just to let the convos revolve entirely around ex, bring up things about his job, and his other kids and focus all my attention on him during the phone call.
Somehow, I think if I don't give him the reassurance that s8 is fantastic, he may come to visit him sooner. The guilt trip we tried to put on him last weekend didn't seem to get him up here, so we'll try something different.
Any comments? T
PS. Another 2 opportunities in Wisc have presented themselves in the past day!
