W- right! it's time to leave the ball in his court again. I felt so drained after talking to him, (the work to get a word in!) and feel like this is just going to continue to keep a strain going between us. S8's bday is just a couple of weeks away; he will be initiating contact by then. Of course, that is the reason for my edginess in this, our s really wanting to see his dad.
UD- yes I've seen the insecurity for a long time. and I keep telling myself that after he knocks me down like this; he usually goes back to a depression state and starts telling me how everything is rotten in his life. well, he may not this time, but that's usually the routine.
I just don't want to give him more to add to the 'can-do-no-good' image he has. He may have noticed that he was getting me upset. (voice cracked a couple of times when I said i'd let him go) but I didn't fall apart on him. I did end up sending him an email last nite just saying, 'I'm sorry I bothered you this evening.' which I really was, but don't know if that is against the db.
The weird thing to me seems to be the fact that he doesn't treat me like we are div. It's as if I don't exist most of the time. I guess that's just another way to rewrite our history!
I'm coming back up w/the PMA today. Just a little nervous over the interviewing and the need to 'wow' them. I'm off to get my hair done today, that should help. Spoil myself for a day!
