No offense taken at all UD! Ours was a very ugly div in some ways, and I haven't really posted any history on it as it just rehashes it all in my mind! Apologies aren't necessary. (We did marry after s was born.)
While the custody battle was at full war, I was ready to walk away from ex and start over. He wanted me around but kept giving all those reasons listed on Jo's thread. It was very confusing and I gave into his pursuing and begged for a chance to make it work. (totally against dbing - And of course, the pleading failed!) But a lot of his conditions had been worked on throughout the div; it just seems that since he started it; he was going to finish it no matter how much I changed!
He definitely fits into the MLC category and did not really have a good childhood. Had to grow up too fast and was mostly neglected by his parents. (middle child syndrome) So for that matter, he may never come out of this MLC. He told me he went to visit them on Easter, and was upset over still being ignored the whole day.
He does check out frequently and may still do that to the other kids. I'm not close enough to see but have heard that he is helping w/ss19 in building a bike. That can be typical for him; help w/kids' fun stuff, but then checks out again as soon as they start asking for too much. He gave that speech over and over - 'all i do is help others and never do anything for myself'
Quote: Since, even where you are, XH seems disinclined to visit S8, why not take a well-paying job where it becomes available and let XH worry about moving so he can see S8 more? Just questioning....I don't know.
I just don't know either. Keep telling myself- go where the jobs are and if he wants to start over he will move. I do want to keep some proximity to my family and need to factor that into any decisions.
I agree w/you and Bruce. I will put my note away for me to read through those memories at times, but will totally ignore the date and not even mention it to him. I will let you know if he remembers, but I'm not willing to bet on it! T
