Thanks for the insights, UD. I have just finished reading your thread also.
Here I was thinking that maybe I was pressuring ex too much even in an underlying way (tone of voice, etc)
When he first called, I said s8 was upset w/him and needed to see him not just talk to him. (this is due to son's autism; and ex has a hard time addressing that)
I made the suggestion again a couple of times during the convo. Told him that I had arranged w/d24 to stay w/her when he comes to visit.
Then when we started talking about bday presents, I showed him a couple of bikes that I am looking at on walmart.com. he picked out one and said, oh, it's not in stock. I suggested that if he could make the trip up here we could take s8 together to pick out what is in the store.
He did not want to make a commitment last nite. Blamed it on work pressures. S8 didn't want to talk to him more than saying that he was 'waiting for dad'. So the message should be clear, unless he wants to continue hiding from it.
I have seen that go on w/his other kids. He would step back and distance himself from them and I would always be the one to push him into keeping contact. I also know that he is attempting to reconnect w/them recently, they are all at a better age for him to relate too (23, 19 and 14). But that is not an excuse to exclude s8.
