I see from your previous posts that you are where I used to be a year ago, afraid to rub your WAS the wrong way with anything. That made me lose all my boundaries. And my WAW did not respect me anymore. She did start to respect me after I started placing some boundaries. Even now my boundaries are too loose and I am loathe to take a hard line on anything. My friends always have encouraged a much harder line but I am always trying to be much more giving and forgiving of my W. I dont actually know if that is what has put me in the situation I am in now (2 years of separation, my W still threatening D and not making any attempt to work on reconciliation). In your case, it would probably work to your advantage to regain your respect from your S. Getting your employment squared away will go a long way in this regard for starters. I have really been trying in the past month or so to keep a strong front and not letting my W take me for granted. It has been empowering for me and I have been able to detach from her better this way. In the final analysis I just cannot afford to be driven to insanity by her, for my sake and for the sake of my D3. Keep strong, dejavu. Become who you always were.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
