I am sorry about the loss of your job. Nothing like that to drop your PMA! BTW, I really like the way you are handling things in terms of setting very affirmative and positive self-improvement goals. You know what, I think that this may be the key for your sitch to turn around. Sticking with your personal goals and making things work for YOU rather than for XH will not only make you a better person, it will give him pause to see how you have changed.
"recieved one call (didn't answer) and one email (haven't replied) from ex. I'm going to just leave it at that until I have some of my confidence back." - Just wondering what the purpose is of going dark for YOU? I dont know, it seems like you have so little contact with your XH as it is, would it not be better to actually have some contact but to DB during it, i.e. - no pursuit, no pleading, be strong and independent and make sure that he knows you are GALing and pulling your life back together without him in it. I feel that I have played the going dark game in the past to absolutely no effect. What has worked for me is to actually maintain sufficient contact, but to work on myself, keep a high PMA and be positive. I dont know, perhaps the going dark business is not working for you? I for one dont believe in going dark as a way to entice a spouse back. But if you are doing it to detach and put yourself back together, it may not be a bad idea altogether.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
