I am going to post a quick update. Overall last week was good, but the loss of my job has knocked some of the spunk out of me. (Since unemployment was only going to be for two and half months I wasn't expecting to feel so low the first week!)

A lot of soul searching and life evaluation has brought me to a couple of new goals.

#1 goal: I deserve respect from ex and also need to learn to respect myself. When I have allowed him to disregard my boundaries was a mistake in the past and I will work on turning this around. This is difficult w/lack of contact; but I am looking for some ways to show this is going in the right direction.

Steps I feel are right is not honoring any of his contact over the weekend since I have requested a number of times not to call me 'whenever' and expect me to wait around for his call. Ex can start letting me know when he may call or allow me a time to call him.

The other matter is getting the truck and my stuff here. I will arrange this w/o him since he has had enough opportunities to handle this. (It's been 4 mos since we moved)

One other step I need to take is not allowing ex to keep me from GAL. But that leads me into

#2 goal: I'm getting back on track w/my career. This has been a tough decision that I have been wrestling w/for over a month mostly since it will affect both s's life. But I have to do this for me for the following reasons:
A. To gain some financial stability
B. To enjoy working again
C. To reach for my dreams (owning my own house, a new car, vacations)

In my pursuit of this goal; I have to keep ex at a greater distance. The last interview I went on he called the night before and made me cry. I feel that he has always been too critical of me and therefore I couldn't/wouldn't reach for my goal. Maybe it is his ego trip (I could make more money than him) maybe it is me keeping myself from achieving more than him. Whatever it is, I will not inform him of pursuing this until I have something solid (job offer, move to new location, etc.)

So that is my day in a nutshell. This weekend seemed to put my PMA on a downward spiral and I am working hard at bringing it back up. I recieved one call (didn't answer) and one email (haven't replied) from ex. I'm going to just leave it at that until I have some of my confidence back. He will get a Father's Day card from s8 this week, so I'm not totally dark! Or am I?
T