Ok, I wasn’t talking about just Wes’ situation even though I hope to get to that point again someday. What I meant to say this morning is that I will not initiate the contacts, but will not be totally unavailable, either. Nice semi-dark shade of gray here!
A synopsis of where I am standing: He calls every weekend, but will not let me know when he will call. It is usually a very tense phone call telling me this is wrong, that is wrong, etc etc etc. After a few minutes of venting, he will usually ask how we r doing and the convo gets much better. I have learned to just not say anything while he gets this all out, then we can talk about son. I have tried to initiate some calls, but he will put me off.
I gave up everything in the div except full custody. I could have split all the debts w/him (at the sum of 50k), made him sell the house to give me my equity and got him for half the possessions he owns(a complete workshop and a '01 Harley). I couldn't do that. I even gave back half of his c/s money for a couple of months after the div was final, which for our son's sake, I just can't do that anymore.
Sometimes I don't know why I do want any type of R w/him since he vents so much anger. But then he will turn around and be really sweet.
We actually were having the type of R as Wes, for the first month post-D. Then something changed and I have no clue as to what it was since I am so far away. I know that he has had to sell his bike and since he didn't want any of the debts, no one has paid on them and that is still on his credit report. The cc company doesn't want to take him off since he has a secure income and I don't.
For now, I need to keep focussing on ME! Today was such a great day, very high PMA, and that was partly why I wanted to send him a card. But maybe I should have been looking for one that says, 'na na na na; '
It's hard when I can't share the good times w/ex. T
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