Quote: Perhaps it's all in how you disclose your fears and not the act of being "mean mommy who doesn't let H have his way"? Maybe even offering to find a way of prioritizing his dream but asking for some time and patience to execute it? Give him what he wants but ask for some consideration and reasonable time to put the wheels in motion?
Oh, Bets, I think I've been doing ALL of this. Problem is, real estate has appreciated quickly in that area, and he has that panicky "gotta jump on the train before it leaves the station" feeling (which so often should be "that train has left the station so I should wait for the next one", LOL!!!).
Quote: Ellie, sometimes doing things for ROI just isn't good for us. Can we appeal to your conservative nature by possibly entertaining an idea that might bring you some joy and help bridge his discomfort.. if only in the short term?
You're awfully good at thinking outside the box... I think if you pop the lid, you can see the value in doing a 180? How about some private tutoring at your D's HS?
H would be unhappy with me taking any job that earned less than what I would earn if I just went back to a clinic. He's already made that clear.
I really have to get serious about figuring out what I can do that won't make me miserable but will take away his excuse ("money would be no problem if only Ellie went back to work - but not on nights or weekends, or Fridays, because I need her to be free to go away with me on business trips, and I need her to take care of the kids and their homework in the evenings, and I want a nice home-cooked meal when I get home...."). Don't get me wrong - H is NOT a chauvinist. Actually, when I think about it, this all goes back to his mother. He REALLY likes it when I do those homemaker things for him, because his mom quit doing them when she became a WAW. But he also wants me to continue to be the "professional woman" I was when we met - and that his mother became! (She's a lawyer now). He HATED it when I worked every other weekend - even though it was a great job and a good schedule that allowed me to spend time with our babies and make good money on just a few days a week. He wants quality time with me, he wants to be free of laundry and cooking and shopping and cleaning, he wants the kids completely supervised and happy, and he wants me to be bringing in the big bucks! (Gee, what's the problem????;) )
Why does it all make me think of that awful commercial about bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan?
Still - despite the fact that I suspect (no - I KNOW) that H won't ever be completely satisfied whatever choice I make - I need to figure this out FOR ME, because I need to feel financially independent of him again for the balance in this R to be restored.
