I've tried telling H how I feel. H makes so much more than I would at this point (he can make more in one day of consulting than I would for a whole week of full time work) that it really isn't about the money for H, I know - it's about his extreme discomfort with me being a SAHM. We have plenty. But H married a professional woman, and even though he fully realizes how important it has been that I was home for our D, and even though me being here is what has allowed him to advance in his career in the way he has for the past few years (picking up all the household slack, allowing him to travel for work, etc.) in his mind he still can't cope with me not working. Trust me, I am not an intellectual slob or anything - have plenty to talk about, lots of interests, he still thinks I'm smarter than he is.
And the sad thing is - I would like to go back to work. Not because I think it would be good for the kids or him or our home at the moment - it wouldn't. I'd like to go back to work simply because I don't trust being financially dependent on him anymore. I don't trust him not to spin out of emotional control again at some point. And I hate being in the position of feeling like I can't have an equal say in financial decisions because he's the one bringing in the money at the moment.
But I cannot sacrifice what I think my kids need at the moment. I REALLY need to figure out a way to have a career from home. Even then, H will be shocked at the slack he will have to pick up if I start diverting too many hours from homemaking into work.
