How to GAL when SP is jealous/trust is broken??

[heatherg]

Ellie~

I still think that you should read Chapman's Five Love Languages

I didn't mention to you that I have read that book. I found the concept very interesting although I could not pinpoint a single lanuage for either myself or my H.

You know, it's funny because I was actually talking to my boss about that book today b/c he's read it also. I was telling him that I didn't find it particularly helpful, but the concept is interesting and might be helpful just to be aware of the concept alone, even if one of the languages doesn't jump off the page at you. I jokingly said, "you know, at this point any one of them [languages] would do just fine!!" He laughed and said "yeah, just pick any one!!" It was very funny, perhaps you had to be there, but it was good to laugh at my situation.

Right now I find it difficult to even look my H in the face I can't imagine thinking about filling his love tank. Most days I feel like I hate him.

try to understand that your H is operating out of fear right now

This is a good point. I would be afraid if I were him too. But you'd think if he's that afraid of losing his kids, he wouldn't be putting his hands on me and locking me in the laundry room?

In the beginning, I did think S4's reactions to me were just his temporary preference to his dad. But the more I've tried to be more present in his life, the more his dad has resisted. If it was truly about S4's preference, I could be ok with just keepin on tryin. But this isn't about S4's preference anymore because H purposely limits my opportunities to try. See the difference?

I don't so much even have problems with the bond they have anymore. I think I've gotten to the point since I've had D2 that I can understand and I don't take it so personally.
But when he uses what he has to such an advantage that he doesn't "allow" me to do certain things like take them to daycare or to the beach or to a friend's soccer game, it becomes a huge problem. I have no idea what's going on at daycare, S4 asked me if today was show and tell day and I truly don't know b/c they post those things outside of the door and I'm not there to see them.
Maybe I should just get up in the mornings and go to daycare as well? If they want to ride in Daddy's truck, fine but maybe I should just drive behind and help get them in the building as though it were any other day???