Heather, your sitch right now is very familiar to me. I've had that same convo with each of my husbands--over and over and over again! It never changes, it's always a cheeseless tunnel. I wanted control and H wanted control. Especially with the first H who is my kids' father. Everything had to be my way. I think I've posted this to you before. Of course you hate him because he is being an a$$ because you want all the control of the kids and he would like to make a decision about them sometimes. Is it really that bad to let them decide who they go with if everyone is ready to go. Could you not look at it from the kids' point of view for a minute? There could be something special about each of you taking them. You could each do something during the ride that makes it fun for the kids. Not a competition between the two of you, it's about the kids. Do you really have to win this one? There are no safety or health issues for the kids in this that I can see, except mom and dad fighting over them. Someone has to give a little here and it might have to be you at first. What if you got ready in the morning and said, "kids, who would you like to ride with this morning?" Let them decide and go with it. If they choose dad, then tell them good bye, have a great day and kiss them all good bye.
Please try to let go a little Heather. I'm sure you H is not a bad father, right? I've done this, Heather, and it will always be bad and you will always be angry at each other, and you will always hate him. You can do something about this. You can let go and trust him and the kids to work this out. This really is a little thing. You are both just trying to win! It isn't worth it--believe me, I have been there. Perfect 180 opportunity.
Just this one thing and then try another. Don't try to fix it all at once. Think about the alternative--you dump him and get into a new R with a really great guy. Things are great for a couple years and then he starts to resent the kids and your time and control over them. Been there, done that! Keep what you have if you want to and can. The way you are going, it isn't going to change.
