How to GAL when SP is jealous/trust is broken??

[heatherg]

~Journaling~
I didn't wait a couple of days to discuss the C issue, I waited only until tonight. I was feeling calm and rational and had what I thought was a good idea so I thought I would take it to H and see what he thought of it. Here's how it went (keep in mind that during this whole time, H never took his eyes off the book he was reading when I entered the room):

Me: Can I ask you a question?

H: What?

Me: If you're uncomfortable with the C thing, maybe we could set aside an hour a week where we could talk about some of the deeper issues in our R and maybe we could take turns picking out the topics and we could try to stick to just that one topic.

H: Yeah, unless you're in one of your moods.

Me: Well, we could also have some checks we could use to mean the conversation is over. Like boundaries if the other oversteps, the discussion is over.

H: You mean like you could pick a fight and then state that the discussion is over? Sounds like it would work better for you than me.

Me: I think you're misinterpreting what I meant.

H: You're crazy, I never know what you're going to do next.

Me: Ok....but how I am responding doesn't have to impact you. [Can't remember quite how I said that]

H: Yeah, right :eyeroll:

Me: How does me being crazy mean that we can't set aside some time to dicuss our R issues?

H: I don't want to get into this, I just want to read and go to bed.

Me: I don't want to get deep into it either, I'm tired myself.

H: Tomorrow when you get a hair up your a@@ it will be like this conversation never happened.

Silence.....H continues to read.

Me: You do realize that I am coming to you and you are thoroughly blowing me off.

H: Nods his head and raises his eyebrows as if to say "duh"

Me: And you do this every time I come to you.

H: Snorts, yeah ok.

H: Why don't we just try being civil for a month and see how that goes?

Me: Ok, we can try that. What does being "civil" mean to you? To me it means that you need to stop keeping the kids away from me. Maybe we can rotate days for daycare?

H: I'm not going to let you use the kids against me anymore.

Me: And what you are doing is different because....?

H: I eliminated all the ways you can possibly use the kids against me.

Me: That morning when you started this and I said I would continue taking them as I always have and you said "Ok kids, who would you rather ride with mommy or daddy" how was that not using the kids against me?

H: It was letting them decide.

Me: Do you think it's wise to be letting a four year old and a two year old make the decisions as to what goes on in this house from day to day?

H: They don't.

Me: How does one argument between us turn into something that has to carried out forevermore?

H: If we're both up and dressed, they can choose who they want to go with.

Me: You are only comfortable saying that b/c you are 99.9% sure that S4 will say he wants to ride with you and D2 will likely follow. Why can't we just alternate days?

H: Yeah, letting the kids choose doesn't work because it doesn't benefit you. It's not about benefiting anyway, what's the big deal?

H: Letting them choose sounds like a compromise to me. I thought I said I didn't want to talk about this?

Me: [Thoughtfully]...ok......

H: Then get out, not ok let's approach it from a different angle.

And I left the room.

Any thoughts? Reprimands, lol?