Do you really think it wise and responsible to have S4 make those kinds of decisions?
MC isn't a magical solution, its success depends on the couple's willingness to work on their issues. IMO, yours a little askew, his are way, way off. DBing can change patterns, but it's not a cure all. If you haven't seen positive steps from H, then change what you're doing. Personally, I think you have to tell him that if he doesn't shape up, you're leaving him, and be ready to leave him if he doesn't make the changes. In the meantime, I think you need to let go of your grip some, don't let him see you sweat over your issues, because it seems to me he knows those are your buttons, and he keeps pushing them to punish you.
