And family and friends skeptically say, "well, you can try Heather and I hope it works for you, but honestly, I think you're wasting your time".
I think that the experience we go through is an opportunity to learn about life, ourselves and others, and we can use it to grow. In that sense, it's not a waste of time.
I've been unable to change, so maybe that's the reason nothing is changing??
Yes, it takes us to change first before we can see changes in others. That's the way it works. But it's not a magic pill. And one has to examine the relationship potential and consider if you really want to be with this man. What do you want in a relationship is your first question.
I do want to emphasize that I was locked in the laundry room for perhaps two mintes before I climbed out the window. I was not trapped and I knew it and H knew it.
The fact that you could get out through a window does not lessen the lack of respect that was evidenced. Locking you up is physical abuse, as you're now learning. No one's to be treated like a prisoner when they're in a relationship. Bottom line as I see it, is yes, make changes in how you react to things in order for you to become a better person, not given to temper and such, and that's for you. But H's behaviors are abusive, way outside the realm of what DBing is about, if DBing is about managing the problems of an otherwise good relationship.
