How to GAL when SP is jealous/trust is broken??

[heatherg]

I know my situation must sound weird. Most parents would love the other parent's help with the children. But you'd have to understand how my H works in order to understand what's really going on. You'd have to see the whole picture.
There is no doubt in my mind I'm not reacting to this with a clear head. Emotions are in the driver's seat. I try to assure myself that this is normal, given the circumstances. I have to believe that most people would be a basket case if they were in my position. I know I have to get a grip.
I know it must sound like my H is really just being helpful, maybe even trying to take steps in the right direction. But consider this: He's not speaking to me, he will not answer me if I ask him a question. The parking space may not sound like a big deal Lou, but trust me, it is. It goes back to the days when he first kicked me out of my house, he took my key, my parking space and wouldn't allow me to dress or feed or rock my own kids (quite literally he made it clear he was taking care of the things I used to do). I was so afraid of making him angrier that I didn't argue, if he looked at me with hatred, I shrank back.
If I try to take my S4 somewhere (like if H is staying home drinking) and I suggest to the kids that we go somewhere, his whole attitude and demeanor changes instantly. He'll engage S4 in a game, whatever and sometimes even when S4 has said he wanted to go, he'll end up not wanting to go. But H initiated a "boy's night out" where he and S4 get to go out alone and spend quality time with one another every single Thurs night. He did not ask me before he put it into practice. I came home one Thurs evening from work and S4 announced to me that him and Daddy were having a boys night out. If I tried that, he would make sure it flopped. He would never "allow" it.
I know I'm emotional, I do. But please don't mistake the things I'm telling you for being my "emotional perspective on things". I've been with my H for 13 years, I know what I'm seeing. Maybe because I have such a sharp reaction, that is what makes him so successful with control and manipulation. But there is no doubt that he knows exactly what he's doing.