I agree that a third party needs to come in on this situation. That husband would ask small children which parent they want to live with and that the both of you would carry on with all that high drama in front of them of your "crazy morning" was just that-crazy. Adults/parents need to make the world a safe place for the kids and it sounds like home isn't a safe/nurturing place for kids right now.
And you cannot change him, and you already know that. But you can look at yourself and your behavior and work on that. You wanted him to take the kids to day care. He is doing it. And you are still upset, maybe more so.
I understand what it is like to live with emotional/verbal abuse and I understand what it is like to dish it out. Sometimes you need some help to break the cycle of interaction.

Get some sleep. Let that extra hour be a good thing. Thank him for it every day. Acknowledge the good stuff.

des

Arguing with reality is like trying to teach a cat to bark—hopeless. (Byron Katie)