The TV volume, who takes the kids, the karate class issue, the "controlling" statements, his physical reactions... these and others yet to come are all manifestations of what really ails him. They are like fissures denoting something underneath causing them. They are not separate issues.
What really ails him are some underlying issues and fears.
And the dynamics between you two aren't working too well. They need changing.
That's where you need to go with this.
What tools do you have to get there and do the work?
Marriage counseling. DBing. Reading "After The Affair" by Janis Spring for some insight?
If you can't do this by yourself, heatherg, call in the professional help. Many times, it's very difficult to reconcile solely on one's own devices.
