Quote: he said "we had to get out of there so you could nap or something to make up for all that extra sleep you lost"
Quote: This morning, I was rounding up the kids to go to school and H said "I'm taking them." I said "H, I've taken them every day for the last four years, I'll take them", he said "not anymore".
I don't really get you, Heather. You made that big stink about him keeping you up and about him taking the kids to school - now he's doing the very behaviors that one would expect from someone who heard you and was trying to make it up to you, and you're mad at him for that?
Granted, his delivery isn't very smooth - if you've read The Five Love Languages by Chapman, I'm guessing he doesn't do Words of Affirmation very well, but usually shows his love by Acts of Service - and since that isn't your love language, you don't "hear" him when he speaks his love to you in that language. Read the book, it's very good.
I can see a lot of places here where changing YOUR behavior would probably bring about positive changes in H's behavior. And please, don't underestimate the devastating effect of your affair on your H (yes, it's an affair and a betrayal even if you didn't have sex). My H and I are well-reconciled for two years from his brief affair, but I must admit, it still crosses my mind almost every day, still causes me such pain that he could have been so dishonest with me. Only his consistent loving behavior towards me is helping me heal.
