How to GAL when SP is jealous/trust is broken??

[heatherg]

~Update~
It seems like things just keep escalating in this rotten M of mine. This morning was another dramatic, practically violent encounter. H likes to stay up late on Mondays and Fridays, which are historically his "drinking nights". He stays up watching tv, playing video games, whatever. He keeps me up sometimes b/c the movie is too loud. I used to swear that the more he drank, the worse his hearing became. Last night I asked him several times to turn the TV down, which he says he did, but the bass in the surround sound system was still keeping me awake. I finally got really mad and told him to just go to bed so the rest of the fu@@ing house could too and I slammed my door. I did not get to sleep until between 12:30 and 1:00am and I have to be up at 6am to get the kids ready for school. What can I do?? The longer I tossed and turned the ANGRIER I got. I'm powerless as always.
So this morning when my alarm went off, I went into his room and told him he might want to plan on getting up a little earlier this morning because he is taking the kids to daycare today and I am getting a little extra sleep. I don't even know how I got designated as the parent whose always responsible for taking kids to daycare anyway. It should be a shared responsibility or he should at least get up early enough to give me a hand, which he never does. I've actually asked him to do something to help in the morning, like get S4 dressed and he will ignore me and get in the shower. He will sit on the couch and snuggle with them and watch tv, but he will not lift a finger to help me get them ready. And then he has to take S4 out to the car and he makes such a production out of saying goodbye that I'm always late for work (I'm always running behind anyway, this is not the only reason I'm late, but it sure doesn't help when you're in a hurry).
Well to make a long story short, he totally goes about his business and D2 asks for pancakes. I tell H she wants pancakes, which is part of the morning routine and e says "ok, well fix it then" I say "do you have time for her to eat them" and he says "what are you talking about?" Like I never said a word about him taking them to daycare. He just chooses to ignore me. He goes to walk out the door and I say "H, you are taking the kids to daycare today". He says "no, I'm not. I'll take them tomorrow. You can't just spring this on me at the last minute". I grab my stuff and go to walk out the door and he lunges at me, puts his hands around my neck and tells me "If you'd quit going to karate, I wouldn't be up so late!". I said "how dare you do this in front of them" and he said "you're using them".
Now, I know he is trying to control the situation and I'm torn between making a scene in front of my kids and letting him control the situation b/c I feel like if I stand up for myself he will realize he has no power over me and he will stop eventually. So, I say "whatever", and I go around him and go out the back door. I put my stuff in the car and come back in through the front to kiss and hug the kids goodbye and H goes for the door. I walk out the door and so does he, we both get in our cars and drive away. Of course, I only go around the block b/c I'm not going to risk leaving my kids alone for crying out loud. So, I go back, get them ready and I'm putting D2 in her carseat and H pulls back up in the driveway. I take D2 out of her seat and put her in H's arms and tell both kids goodbye and drive across the lawn to get out b/c H parked me in the driveway.
Now, believe me, I know I make myself sound clinically insane here. By no means am I trying to make myself look any better than what actually happened. I was stupid and left my kids standing in the driveway wondering why mommy drove on the grass. I feel terrible that I pushed the issue to the point where the kids were put in the middle. I should have gave in.
God, somebody please tell me how to handle H constructively.....maybe the only answer is just to get away from him???