Quote: Children don't benefit from living with or having as role models two unhappy people who stay married in an unhealthy relationship. better for them to see how two healthy self-loving people go about dealing with the bad times and/or dissolution of their relationship respectfully and kindly.
I do agree with you on this. But there's also a lot of research out there that says up to 25% of kids whose parents are divorced have problems that most kids whose parents are together do not have. My mom tells me that H has me brainwashed into thinking that the kids will be horribly affected b/c that is the best way to convince me to stay without him having to make a single change in himself. I don't know, I just know that right now there are two things I cannot imagine. One is being without my kids for half of the time. The other is looking into their little blue eyes to tell them that they will have two homes now, etc. I can't do it, I'm not strong enough. H would get the house, there aren't any doubts about that. He will never leave this house and no judge will order him out w/out physical abuse or some similar justification. So, I will have to move out and H being as manipulative as he can be will totally play on the fact that this is their home, the place they've been since they were babies. They'd come to visit me and when they came back to him, he would tell them that they're "home" now. The kids would see that all is the same except Mommy left. Another big fear of mine is that H has so much family here and I have only a brother who isn't all that interested in kids. H's family is TOTALLY kid-oriented and we get together practically every weekend. I have so much less to offer in that department. I know that sounds crazy, but kids are going to want to go to the place where they have the most fun right? My S is my H's protege, he barely wants to do anything with me now, how's he going to feel if I leave??
If it were just me and H, there isn't any doubt that I would be gone. But there are these two fabulous little people caught in the middle and I don't know what to do about it.
NY, I was surprised to see on one of your postings somewhere that you have a son. Just one child? For some reason I assumed you and your W had no children. Not sure what gave me that idea....how was your son affected by your separation? How old was he when it happened?
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
