How to GAL when SP is jealous/trust is broken??

[heatherg]

Hey NY, glad to see ya!! BTW, if you get tired of the crap on your thread, you're always welcome here!!

and if this keeps up, you're walking.

I would love to be able to say that b/c in my head, I feel that's what I need to do. But I've tried that and it made me so sick I could barely make it through my days, I saw a little change in H so I backed down (have I lost my credibility??). Like you said, if you're gonna threaten, you need to be prepared to follow through and I'm simply not that prepared!! Divorcing someone like my H would be a lifelong battle. After I served H papers, he brought up mediation. I told him I would be willing to try but I wasn't optimistic b/c part of our whole problem is that we can't agree on ANYthing. If we could agree and see eye to eye, I think half our battle would be won....and then we wouldn't NEED a D!! But just to give you an example, when we briefly discussed the things we would ask for in mediation, he says he will remain in the home b/c that is the kids' home and he wanted me to agree that they would remain in the school district that our house is in. Our kids aren't even IN school yet!!! How could I agree to something like that when I don't even know where I will live, etc??? Divorcing him would be a nightmare that never ends.
To listen to him speak NY, he makes so much sense. It's only lately that I'm starting to write things down and try to keep a clear head so that I know what he said and what I said and he can't turn it around later. That is helping me to see that his logic isn't really as sound as it's always seemed.
Also, he is adamant that I would be putting myself above my children if I were to file, putting my happiness above my childrens'. That prospect terrifies me and loads me with guilt. My kids are the greatest and they love their daddy even if I can't seem to. I don't know where to begin handling that.
So, for now at least, I need to put thoughts of D on the back burner although it's a wonderful fantasy at times.

~Update~
I called H to see how he was going to treat me. He was fine. And then comes this....."I talked to my sister and nephew wants to have dinner at Chuck E Cheese tonight for his birthday and wants S4 and D2 to come (we're already going there all day tomorrow for nephew's party). I just sat there on the line for a moment and I said, "every time I've tried to plan for S4 to come to one of my classes something comes up....will you bring him next Friday then if we go to CEC tonight?" He wouldn't answer that, giving me the famous snotty "I have no idea", meaning no I won't.
Then he starts in on the "I thought we talked about you only going one night during the week anyway" meaning, you already went Monday night you don't need to go tonight as well. I said "that is a whole other conversation" he said "no, it's this conversation". He said why don't you wait until you find another school, I don't want him getting attached to this school (he's already made it clear that our kids are NOT attending the school I go to b/c it's too far away~1/2 hour drive). He said "you're setting me up here and I can see it". Apparently he thinks I'm trying to get S4 attached to the school so that he will want to go there. He says "I'm going to try to get home in time, before you have to go". Meaning, he's going to take the kids to CEC and I can go to karate. He just acts as if I'm so irrelevant and my plans don't mean jack.
I'm going to try to get ahold of SIL and ask her if we can go to CEC early, like around 4 or 5 and then we'll still have time to go to karate. Then, I can just call H and tell him very sweetly that we have it all worked out. But, so far I cannot get ahold of SIL.

ARGGHHH