I have been reading some of your post and consider you a person that is working hard to improve your M.
I understand the emotions behind why you kissed the OM and I understand some why your H is looking at porn on the internet. What I don't agree with is his reluctance to quit the internet porn and take care of a real, warm, 3D person as yourself.
I don't have experience with A's of any kind but have often had to resort to satisfying my own needs. I guess I don't have any advice except to ask your H how much hypathetical surfing, (if you had the desire to) you can do with out him feeling rejected.
Tell him he is damaging your ability to trust him and that is what led you to have the OM as a kissing friend.
If I see something I have experience with, I will comment later. Any questions about specific items? ask.
