Anna~ I barely knew OM. He was the singer in my brother's band. I used to very innocently watch my brother play on Friday nights. This guy had the hots for me and pursued me like crazy. But there were a ton of ways to get it to stop, none of which I did. I thought it was harmless and so did my H. He knew the guy had a crush on me. But you have to understand, this guy was not my type, H was not threatened I don't think or he would have tried to put a stop to me going. BUT, against all odds, I started to look forward to seeing OM. I looked forward to flirting with him. He used to tell me how smart I was, how beautiful I was, that he was in love with me, what he wouldn't do to have a girl like me. He used to hug me, put his arm around me, jokingly introduce me as his girlfriend, kiss me on the cheek. Then all of a sudden one night, I kissed him. Really kissed him....and the rest is history. So, Anna, I was in love with the things he said to me. It had absolutely nothing to do with him. I told my H the truth on Sunday morning and OM called me Monday morning, and I told him not to ever call me again. I told him if he ever saw me again not to so much as say hello to me. Brutal to him, I know. But then again, I WAS married and he knew it so I wasn't too concerned about his feelings. I actually had a much harder time with the person I had been emailing. I had become somewhat emotionally attached with my vision of him and honestly still think of him when times get really tough for me with H. So, no, I do not have nor did I ever have any feelings for OM. If someone told me that, the first question I would ask is why the hell would you put your M on the line for someone you care nothing about???? In all my reflection, I have come to the conclusion that I was trying to get H's attention. It was like "there, I did this. Will you listen now?" H was the only person I ever really wanted. But somehow it seemed he was out of my reach. Our children were born and after that I could have fell off the face of the earth for all he seemed to care. Geez, I fixed that dilemma didn't I???
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
