Quote: If spouses are immediately sorry for their A, would most of the people on this board find it easier to "make them pay", like my H is? You can manipulate someone who's guilt ridden and remorseful much easier that you can someone who says, "whatever, I'll just go spend time with OP then".
The unseemly truth is that in my case, I think that's accurate. When H dropped first bomb, he ended it with her quickly. Then I went on a rampage of punishment and pursuit. "I love you soooo much. But you don't deserve my love because you are disgusting. But you have it anyway. You should thank me. Because I love you soooo much." Oddly enough he left after a couple of months of that and went back with OW.
It took that for me to get my head on straight, stop playing the victim and look at myself and my marriage head-on. Too little too late? Maybe. I hope not.
