Right. So with all this being said, assuming a discussion is the route I'm going to take, how do I handle the fact that we haven't spoken in over a week?
Is that silence because of this? What would be a truce trigger to break that silence?
There will be two paths at that point. He will either be responsive, or he won't. If he's responsive, meaning he doesn't glare me into the floor or wave his hand at me or perform some other form of rejection
yeah, well. like I wrote, we can't expect the WAS to have learned great relationship skills. We can only lead them by example.
So, WTBS, do my reasons matter? Should I talk at all about WHY I deleted them? Or should the conversation be all about his feelings and me validating them?
How is stating your reasons up front going to help resolve this?
If you validate his concerns first, you at least get agreement on common ground. Agree with his concerns, but then show why these circumstances don't warrant them.
"I understand you trusted me not to mess around with anything in your email account and I can see how it seems to you that my deleting those copies betrayed that trust. I didn't think I was betraying your trust as all I saw I was doing was getting rid of my emails, not yours."
I don't know if that's exactly the way to tackle the problem, but Dr. Phil isn't returning my requests to consult over this. "PHEW" is right! Too much assuming what H will or will not respond like. I would just say it, give him a peck on the cheek when you're done and say, "Sorry it turned into this" and walk out of the room. If he wants to continue to pick at the sore, don't get sucked into the drama. Just give him a lot of "I'm sorry you feel that way".
I really don't get it. I'd do anything to have a chance to make things up with my WAW. I realized last night that my 180s have affected other parts of me like a ripple effect, causing other 180s to happen in areas I didn't even think about and how so different everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, would be from how she had it with me, and here's a guy has a chance to make things better but wants to act like an immature spoiled kid instead holding onto a perceived slight. What a world.
