I usually go on Monday nights, so should I go tonight?? I'm mixed up on giving H what he needs to regain trust vs continuing something I love doing. More importantly, quitting would make me feel like I'm not respecting myself and how I feel. Or maybe that just doesn't matter right now?
I'd say "go".
You cannot lose yourself in this process.
If you do, H will have no respect for you learning that he need only demand and you give up portions of yourself and your life. That's not the boundary you want to set, is it?
Now regarding H's side of the coin, the trust issue. Make yourself fully transparent to H while you're out. Reassure him by telling him where you'll be and that you're available by cell. If the place restricts cell phones, invite him down if he wants to come down and watch. (Maybe if he actually gets to see that you're learning to kick a$$ he'll be more tolerable )
) 