I'm contemplating something that I'd like to get some other POVs on. H has asked me what I have done since I told him about A to gain his trust back. That's been a tough question b/c I've never been dishonest before my betrayal which lasted a month at the most. So, I've never hidden anything or lied so I've never had a lifestyle that would require much rearranging. Do you know what I mean? I cheated. But I lied by omission and as soon as the question was asked, it was like "ok, here it is. time to fess up". I never considered lying. I really didn't. So, it's been difficult to think of what I need to change about my lifestyle to earn back trust, b/c aside from this, I've always been trustworthy. But, ok, that's gone now. I have no trust and I need to "earn" it back somehow. I was going to give H password to my email account, but he hacked in and got it on his own. So, I've been thinking about reclaiming my email account by changing my password again. But then I could email him and give the password willingly. That would put the gesture back in the arena of something I did because I wanted to not because he forced it on me.
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
