I don't know. I don't know what constitutes an alcoholic. I really don't. I know it would have been easier to classify him as one 7 years ago when he drank 6 nights a week, up to 18 beers a night. But he's cut way down over the years. He cut down to 3 nights a week, then 2 nights a week while also gradually decreasing the amount he drank as well. He quit smoking about 2 years ago and only smoked when he drank. He has willpower, there is no doubt about that. His most recent accomplishmenet was to cut his drinking in half again, using O'Douls. This happened one week after I served him D papers. Like you, he is adamant that this change is not for me. While that statement does hurt, I know it's better for him if it's not for me. But he has also told me I've never helped the situation and, if anything, I've only made it worse by harrassing him about it over the years. And I did harrass. I'm embarrassed about the way I carried on over the years. I was frustrated, angry, hurt and, in all fairness, it probably became a bigger issue in our marriage than it really needed to be. I would not sleep with him on the nights he drank. Honestly though, it was b/c he snored and slept like a log, i.e. wouldn't roll over if I asked him to, etc. Sex of course was off limits. I've seen him urinate in places that one is not supposed to urinate, I've seen him practically burn our house down by passing out while a frozen pizza was in the oven for hours (guess that means it wasn't a frozen pizza anymore, huh??lol), I've seen him stumble and slur. Quite honestly, I think I lost respect for him. He would never straight out talk to me about the problem. Would never tell me if he thought he was an alcoholic or not. I think the embarrassing behavior on my part occurred because he liked to pretend I wasn't there, wasn't speaking. Would tell me I was being ridiculous or that it was only a problem b/c I had a problem with it.
Quote: He needs to know that Drinking will not be tolerated.
How do you show that?? I think that's my problem. I've tried too hard to convey that. But you know what? The truth is I can't control it, so how do I decide it won't be tolerated? Leave?
Quote: You need to prove to him that you love him. Quit working out
Do you mean I should quit karate?
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
