It's good to see you upbeat again. It is good to see your determination : Have quite made up my mind I am keeping my M and my H!
It seems as though we have switched places in our thoughts/feelings towards our husbands. I told H today that I was done. That I was closing the door but I wasn't locking it yet.
Your trip to vegas is getting closer. Getting excited?
Good for you on making up your mind! I know I've been keeping MYSELF on this roller coaster by not choosing to see the great things that are happening and living in the past because I'm afraid to trust. Well, I too have decided that I'm going to start anew. In fact, July 20 the birthday of the future for me. No more looking back!It's not easy as you know, but the last two days have been better. I haven't questioned H or brought up the A or OW. It's wonderful concentrating on myself and what I want for a change. I'm spending much less time worrying about him or what he is up to also. I've really started to GAL.. going out with some GFs tonight. H seems to pay so much more attention to me when I'm not smothering him with my emotions, questions and accusations.
We're all gonna make it!! We just have to move forward, stay positive, and take good care of ourselves.
Haven't had a lot of time to post. I go off to Vegas next Thursday. Am quite excited! Buuuttt..... I am also scared. Went to see my T today. I told her H and I have been fine on phone but thought of hooking up with him in person again is bringing up lots of tension.
Am remembering whole crappy s@#t that caused our row before he left. I know part of it is that I am afraid to be happy in my M. Terrified that I will be hurt again. Also afraid I am expecting soooo much from seeing H that I will be let down.
T pointed out that my awareness gives me the ability to change the outcome. She says I can lower my expectations and also talk with H before I go about the fact that I am feeling a little freaked about it.
Don't know if I can talk to him. She says perhaps he's feeling same way. Will let you guys know what I decide. But I AM SOO EXCITED ABOUT SEEING HIM AND HAVING FUN OUT THERE!!!
Hey guys I do think we will all be okay. Sheila, yeah the smothering thing is not working for me either. Thank you all for just being out there. Knowing that others are coping with their sitchs helps me sooo much.
Hi Hope...just wanted to check in on you before your trip. I know exactly what you mean about being so afraid of being hurt again. It's enough to make one run for the hills and stay there, isnt it? but, we'll never get to reap the benefits of all our hard work if we don't risk it.
I really think the things your H is expressing sound very positive. I'm wishing you a great trip to Vegas, I hope you enjoy every minute of it!!!!!!
