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I asked H to call as I worry that he's arrived safely etc. There is a 3 hour time difference. But I had expected H to arrive there at about 7pm my time. I waited for his call. When he hadn't called by 9:30 I was pretty disappointed. I was a bit tearful and felt that H was playing power/control games again.

I tried to be reasonable and thought that ok maybe H was really tired, maybe there was some snafu at the hotel. He'll call in the morning. Usually I would think that H just doesn't care and maybe even call H and be upset and tell him how he was being uncaring etc. I tried to remind myself that this was not all about me only and what I wanted or felt I needed.




Wow Hopeful -- I just did a very similiar thing tonight. It was 7pm and I hadn't heard from H yet. I thought he had told me he would be off this evening and I was getting irritated. I called and got his voicemail. Really getting irritated. About 10 minutes later he texted me. By that time I was totally upset and I sent back "What am I not worthy of a phone call". To make a long story short -- he had fallen asleep after getting home as he was tired -- he's been working horrendous hours lately. When he finally got my voicemail he thought I was already in the store and decided that a text message would be less disruptive. So instead of being considerate of him and how he must be tired. I was only thinking of myself and being irrational and totally over emotional.

Your story just really pointed out to me how ridiculous I acted tonight. Learning from each other is definately a benefit to this message board.

As far as the RL clothes -- practice "thought-stopping". It does help. It's hard and many times I don't do a good job of it. But the more you try it, the easier it gets. When I'm doing well, I can think to myself -- are these thoughts helping me or hurting me -- if they are hurting me and causing negative feelings then those thoughts must be stopped. But I'm not always doing a good job -- so I understand how thoughts can get away with you.

So no more crazy-making for either one of us -- let's stop those thoughts and not let them get us down

Keep up the good work!!
Are you getting excited about your trip to Vegas? I'm really hoping for a mini-vacation in the next few weeks.
Take care
TJ