We cross posted at same time. I am going to meet H in Vegas on August 4th. So haven't gone yet. I fully intend to go so I'll let you know how it goes.
On the smothering thing. It must be a self esteem thing with me as well. I never thought of it that way. I was thinking that maybe i wanted from H all the attention I never got from my father who is a recovering alcoholic with whom I have very little to do with.
But you may be right it may be a self esteem thing. What you say about wantign to be H's life is so true. I feel that his wanting me in his life is not enough. I do wnat to BE his life.
I recognise this is unhealthy. I need to think on it more. Right now I don't see how to change that. I understand in my mind that GAL should help but don't see it with my heart.
Happy 4th of July everybody. Hope its great for you.
