It's hard to stay solution-focused when our feelings keep getting in the way. If you read one of my latest posts on my thread you will see that I'm not doing a very good job of it lately. I'm letting my feelings get the best of me.
However, I think of it this way. I have made a decision to love my H unconditionally, to forgive and to begin to trust him again. These feelings didn't just happen -- I'm working at developing them.
=======Sometimes, instead of loving H unconditionally, I find myself thinking, why should I love him? He isn't giving me what I need out of a relationship. I'm still last on his list of priorities. He's still in an EA (at the least). So I cry, come here and vent, make mistakes and say the wrong things to my H, etc. Then I remember that I have made the decision to stick this through and love him unconditionally and I push those feelings away.
======Sometimes the anger and hurt comes rushing back to me and I'm not feeling very forgiving. Again, once I'm beginning to think a little more rationally, I remember that I made a decision to forgive him. I have often asked God for help with this. That is the only explanation that I can give for how I am learning to forgive him.
=======I am finding myself trusting him again. This I haven't really been trying to do. I've just noticed that I've been trusting him a little more than I did. But I do have to say, I think my H has helped me with this. He has lied about lots of things in the last several months, but he has admitted and told me the truth after the fact. So this may be alot harder to achieve w/your H. Your right, you can't be expected to just blindly trust him again. All you can do is take him at his word until you have substantial evidence otherwise.
