I have been reading your sitch for a while now. I have a few thoughts that I will put out here -- just some things to think about.
1. You really do not know if your H is telling you the truth or not. If you want to be with him, then my thoughts are to "act as if" he is telling the truth until proven otherwise. I mean, solid, substantial evidence that proves otherwise. Some new clothes in his closet doesn't prove anything. (I have been amazed at how much shopping my H has done for himself the last several months. I accused him of receiving CDs from the OW because I didn't think he would buy them for himself. He says he bought them -- all I can do right now is believe him.) Eventually, if our H are not telling the truth, it will come out. But the way I see things is that there are only two outcomes for my R -- we will either work it out or we won't. If I distrust and give him the 3rd degree about everything, I am guaranteeing that my R will not work out. So I'd rather take that chance that things will work out for us and "act as if" he is telling me the truth.
2. When I first found out about my H affair, I thought the only choice I had was to divorce him. That was the message I received from everyone. Now that I think about it, it was a pre-conceived idea that I had and everyone just reinforced it. I went to a lawyer. I was miserable that day before and during the appointment. I realized then that I didn't want to be in that lawyer's office and I did not want a divorce. It took me about two, maybe three months to finally be ok with following my heart. And that's what I'm doing. It's ok to follow your heart. Unfortunately it does make us vulnerable to our Hs again. But each person has to decide for themselves whether that chance is worth taking.
3. How would you see the situation differently if you focused only on the positives and forced all negative thoughts away?
4. Take advantage of the alone time right now. Use this time to start working through those issues of fear, betrayal and distrust. Hanging on to those feelings only guarantees that the relationship will not work.
