I pass this on to you as I did someone else. I too am having to try to regain my W's trust. I abandoned so it is a long haul for me. But if you love him consider the following:
You Cannot Do It Alone
God, I cannot forgive him in my own strength, In fact, I do not want to forgive him, at least until he has suffered for what he did to me. He does not deserve to get off easy. Everything in me wants to hold it against him and keep a high wall between us so he can never hurt me again. But your Word warns me that unforgiveness will eat away at my soul and build a wall between you and me, More importantly, you have shown me that you made the supreme sacrifice, giving up your own Son, in order to forgive me. Lord, please help me to want to forgive. Please change my heart and soften it so that I no longer want to hold this against him. Change me so that I can forgive and love him the way you have forgiven and loved me.
Through forgiveness God tears down the walls that our sins have built, and he opens the way for a renewed relationship with Him. This is exactly what we must do if we are to forgive as the Lofd forgives us: We must release the person who has wronged us from the penalty of being separated from us. We must not hold wrongs against others, not think about the wrongs, and not punish others for them. Therefore, forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four romises: I will not dwell on this incident. I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you. I will not talk to others about this incident. I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship. Forgiveness is an act of will not feeling. Just as love is a choice, and 'act as if' and it will come.
This is from Ken Sande, The Peace Maker, a wonderful book for relationships (all). In this book is a recap story of a couple where the wife had an affair and the husband forgave but could not forget or be close to her. When taught this principle, he and the counselor called his wife and she came to the office in trepidation. As soon as she had sat down, Rick began. "Pam, I need to ask for your forgiveness. I have sinned so terribly against you. You asked me to forgive you, and I wouldn't give you real forgiveness. Instead, I have punished you with my bitterness and coldness. I have been so wrong. Will you please forgive me?" Pam disolved in teares. In between sobs, she poured out her own feelings of guilt and shame, along with her fear that Rick coud never really forget what she had done. Then Rick went over the 4 promises which as above mean we "choose not to remember".
You are on my prayer list and God bless you to make the right choices.
