Quote: Okay I get the act as if and showing H that I trust him aspect but would it be a good thing to show him that I don't care whether he messes around or not?
The point I'm trying to make here is twofold.
You need to show him that you will be fine whether he messes around or not. You will be fine with him or without him.
The second is only something you can decide for yourself. You have to figure out where your own personal/moral boundary is on this issue. It would be good for you to figure out where the line in the sand is. This is not the same as the "I'll file for D" dance you were talking. This is your honest-to-goodness-how-much-can-I-tolerate boundary. Only you can determine where that line is. You don't even necessarily need to communicate it to H, but you need to know where it is for yourself, so you know when you've hit it.
I think that is probably where I messed up in my own sitch. I didn't clearly define my own boundary for myself, and by the time SO crossed it, it was too late and I blew like a volcano.
The more mature way to handle this is to define it ahead of time so you can recognize when its been crossed.
