Good news and not so good news. On Tuesday H said he was going to walk after work. Remember he's on an exercise tack trying to lose weight.
Usually I would go home sit and wonder if H was really exercising or out with ow. I went home and did some exercise of my own using the Firm videotapes which I had gathering dust.
I felt great, it took my mind of that icky stuff and I was still exercising when H came in the door. I got sense that he really was only exercising.
And yesterday in the evening which is H's karate class day and when I would usually do the same sit at home and worry thing, I went out with a GF instead.
I had intended to get home just before H did. Instead when I got home H was already there. He seemed a little peeved that i was not home when he got there. He had bought me a treat and had lots of stuff to tell me including an article he had saved from the newspaper.
I think he was looking forward to spending time with me (I hope).
But now for the not so good news. H is going away on a business trip on 29th. He will be going to Miami, Chicago and Las Vegas. Las Vegas is strictly vacation. I will join him there on August 4th.
I am worried that H will cheat while he is out there. I strongly suspect he did in the past and confessed that he did in his first M. We have argued about this issue before and I think H seems to think that on vacation there are no rules.
This a.m. while lying in bed with H he sensed that something was bugging me. He insisted on knowing what it was. I told H that I did not want to join him in Vegas like the good little wife if he had been screwing around all of the previous month.
He said he did not want to be the good hubby waiting for me in Vegas and I was having a good time at home. It is true that I have sort of hinted that I can't wait to be away from H.
This is just my defence mechanism because I don't like the idea of H going away without me and enjoying it. BTW these trips are all optional none are necessary. So I feel a little hurt that H seems to want to spend time away from me.
Anyway, H said later this a.m. that he knew we would make it in spite of Miami, Chicago and Vegas as if it were a joke.
I mean what does he mean? Is it that he is implying that I should just accept that he will cheat when he is out of sight? Or does he mean we will survive my anxiety over the trip?
I confess although I swore I wouldn't do the "I will D you" dance, I did say to H "that's why I did not want to join you in Vegas. In fact I might just pack up and leave".
Okay I know it was stupid. H's we will survive comment was made later after that conversation. Sigh. Even if H reassures me how do I know for sure. Will I even believe him?
I don't think H is doing anything here at home. But what will he do out there?
