Things are quiet on my front. H is going on a business trip/holiday on 29th June. Am trying not to backslide from now until then.
Maybe am freaking out but found a tiny earring stopper on the carpet in our bedroom this am. Don't think its mine. I don't think H would bring an ow into our home as one of the neighbours who is at home all day would definitely mention it to me.
There were workmen in the house yesterday so could have come in that way. Can't say 100% its not mine. Do you think some ow is trying to drive me crazy?
I am still suspicious of H although most of the time I believe that nothing is going on. Don't know what to make of this back and forth with the trust thing. When we talk I believe with all my heart that nothing is going on. Then later on I start crazy making.
Yesterday am it rained a lot. Looked quite dreary out. H said he was going for an early swim. Asked if I wanted to go. Got distinct impression that he did not want me to go. He said "its really cold out you may not like it". I said I was not going and then changed my mind.
Just to see what H would say. He didn't object. Anyway I stayed at home because telephone repair guy was coming. I did wonder if H was going to see some ow in early am before work.
H called at 8:15 to say he had gone walking instead and was now going to take a swim. When H came home he talked about having seen "X" on the hill. This is a guy we usually see walking. H mentioned short conversation he had with the guy.
Now this may be H's way of reassuring me that he did go walking so why am I thinking its an elaborate cover up story???? H's assistant who is my cousin's wife said H was happy at work that day. Was it because things are good between us or does he have an ow???
These are the suspicions going through my mind.
On a positive note I will be taking a belly dancing class soon. I mentioned it earlier but have been too busy at work to go. Will let you guys know how that goes!
Some positives. H is loving and makes me breakfast every am. But even during the a he never stopped doing stuff for me. Guess I am not in a good place lately.
BUt I do see the triggers and where this could go. After the last "I will D you if you do this again" dance, I swore I would not go there again and I don't want to, especially when H is going to be away on a trip.
I will be joining him on August 4 but we won't see each other for a whole month. Maybe this is a good thing.
