Hope,

I see plenty of places where you could validate your H's feelings and actions:

His health issues
His fear of growing older
How hard he is trying (even if you don't think it's hard enough yet)
Letting him know he is right when he tells you that you can't keep beating him over the head with the past
Leting him know how much you appreciate it when he calls when he's going to be late
Letting him know how much you appreciate his openness and honesty about dr. appt's, etc.
Letting him know how much you appreciate his efforts not to worry you

One of the things I've recently learned is the truth in the saying, "Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?"

I'm learning how easy it is to be happy!!! Sure, there are things I could say to SO that would be "right", but they aren't going to make me happy. There are things you could say to your H that would be right, but they aren't going to make either of you happy.

Choose happy, not right. Make sense?

I guarantee you that if you start validating H, both his words and his actions, you'll get more. And I'd bet this would be a 180 for you, too!

Every Day a New Day