What I'm waiting for is for a time when I can figure out my finances and see exactly what I can afford.
My biggest problem is that I work an hr away from here. It's 'ok' right now with H and his parents in the picture, but it would be horrendous with me alone. And moving closer to where I work is difficult - towards the capital and house prices are at least double of here. Right now, there isn't a job for me here.
I'm battling between staying here and making things as well as I can for the kids (H is gone most of the day, and now that I'm not trying to talk with him, the blowups are fewer), or getting out, and me getting into a job I would hate, in a tiny apartment where we would be tripping over each other, no yard - no garden, which would also drive me crazy.
The lawyer I spoke to after Christmas didn't paint a great picture for me. Finland is a 50/50 no fault state. During the 6 mo seperation period, I could legally have H removed from the house, and he would be required to pay some child support (wouldn't be enough for me to cover expenses here) After the divorce is final, if I'm unable to buy him out, or we don't sell, I would be required to pay him rent for his portion of this. We have a very large morgage on this place, so after 5 yrs, selling and splitting the profits while maybe necessary, isn't going to help out with finding a new place for us to live.
I'm going on the assumption that I'm not going to get much help and support from H.
Now that I'm home, I will try to go through our finances and work out what I could afford, try to figure out what I can do. I don't want to even bring up the 'D' word untill I have a solid plan in place.
I don't know how the abuse could be used. I do know of a man here in town who was able to get full custody of his young daughter from his very physically abusive wife. Perhaps I should do more looking for lawyers, but that's going to mean going to Helsinki, as I talked to one of the most repsected lawyers here in town.
Lilli - spring is in full force here. It stays light 'till after 11, and gets light again around 1am...but it's been cold and rainy. Looks like the clouds might burn off this morning though...and the lawn finally needs to be mowed!!
